A Lopez Problem
by LazyItalianGirl
Summary: Francisco, Santana's brother, is back from Julliard with a new girlfriend. Who will it be?  Eventually Pezberry
1. Chapter 1: San Francisco is back!

AN Hi there! I'm a huge fan of Pezberry, but I've never written anything until now for this ship. I have to say that the idea for this story popped up in my mind before going to bed and I had to write!

I'm italian and I'm good with english, but I think I need a beta for this story. Anyone out there? :D

ps. If you want to know how is Francisco, he's like Gael Garcia Bernal in this photo

files. clubplanet. com/SiteFiles/ArticleImages/3988/Gael%20Garcia%20Bernal%20interview. jpg

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee and the glee clubbers, but I own Francisco (:P)

Chapter 1: San Francisco is back!

_I hate my fucking life! And why is Berry talking to me?_

"Man Hands, go the fucking hell away! I'm not in the mood to hear your shit!" I bark at her, turning around because I don't want to look at her horrid argyle. _One day it'll turn me blind!_

"Santana, there is no need to be rude. Furthermore, I was trying to say something of the utmost importance to you. It's something that concern-"

"Stop it, you Spitting-word Machine! Can't you understand when someone is pissed? Now go the fuck away, Little Princess Mermaid!" and I face once again away.

"I did know you were half fish!" says Brittany beside me.

"She's not a fish. She's a Yeti" I say with a smirk plastered on my face.

_I love when she is just a minute away from crying! I can't wait to see when she'll brake!_

"B-but... I" stutters Rachel.

"Oh! What am I hearing? The incredible Rachel Barbra Berry at a loss of word? It's the world nearing the end?" I laugh coldly with only sarcasm in my voice "I've already said it. Get the fuck away from me, you Raving Rabbid!"

At that, Rachel goes away with a sad look on her face and I smirk with pride.

_Well done, Lopez. You've earned a pat on your shoulder! Fuck yeah!_

But my moment of glory is cut short by the one and only Quinn Fabray.

"Wasn't it a bit too harsh, Santana?" asks her with a cool look, trying to look as if she doesn't care about Berry.

_Tsk. She's going all soft over the little thing. Staying away from the Cheerios is unhealthy for the little Catholic Princess, uh?_

"What, Quinnie the Pooh, are you sorry for the Thing? Don't make me laugh!"

"That's not what I... You know! Never mind"

"Of that you can be sure" I say and look at Britt beside me who's trying to understand if Berry is or isn't a half fish.

After some minutes, Mr. S finally dismiss the club and I can go home and drink a little bit of alcohol. _Nothing is better than a good bottle of vodka when you're feeling like shit!_

As I'm reaching my car, B stops me.

"San, can I come with you today?" she asks me with puppy eyes.

_How can a human being say no to something like this! Come on! The world is cruel!_

"Yeah. Why not? We can always-" but I can't finish as "Magnet"- _I know that no one would have guessed that I like Vocaloid but that is not the point! _- blast from my phone.

"Why is Paco calling? I haven't seen him since last Christmas" I think out loud.

"Who is Paco? You're dog?" asks Brittany with a big smile "Charity calls me everyday to see if I'm doing ok"

"No. It's not my dog, B. He's my older brother. You know, Francisco Antonio Lopez? Handsome, brown hair, brown eyes, 5 years older and student at Julliard?"

"Oh! Now I remember!" she says happily.

"Hello Paco!" I say answering the phone. "Why are you calling?"

"Hola, San. ¿Qué tal?" asks the voice at the end of the line.

"Bien. ¿Y tú?" I answer, looking with a smirk at B. _She's so cute when she doesn't understand!_

"Muy bien. Estoy en casa en este momento. ¿Cuándo vas a volver?"

"Estoy a punto de salir de la escuela. ¡Quiero verte, Paco! ¡Hasta luego!"

"¡Hasta luego, San!"

I put my phone back in the pocket of my jeans and turn around to see a confused Brittany staring at me as if I was green and yellow.

"Hey Britt-Britt. I'm sorry, but you can't come today. My brother is back and I want to spend the day with him. Is it a problem?" I ask her with a gentle voice.

"No. It's fine. But, were you talking with you're dog over the phone? Because they were strange words!" she asks with a frown.

"It was Spanish, little duckie. You know, it's what Mr. S teaches at school"

"Isn't he like one of the people on the show for kids? With his look and the songs and the way he always talks about happy things?" she asks.

"Well. We can say that it's almost true" I say laughing, and not as I usually laugh, it's one of my genuine laugh that only B, and sometime Q, can hear. "Now I have to go. See you tomorrow, B"

"See ya!" she shouts while hugging me.

I walk to my car and I feel my phone buzzing in the pocket.

**Quiero presentarte a mi novia hoy. -Paco**

_What the fuck? My brother, Francisco Antonio I'm-afraid-of-women Lopez has got a girlfriend? And she is at my house? I can't miss that!_

I jump in my car and ride home in less than ten minutes. _Personal record! I'm awesome!_

I enter through the front door like a grizzly and I find myself in front of my brother.

"Look what we've got here! Come here, San! It's been too long, don't you think?" he says, opening his arms for me.

"Indeed!" I answer, hugging him. "So... Where is the girl that stole the heart of my shy brother?"

"She's in the kitchen with mom and dad. You know, having The Talk" he says stressing the last two words.

_And you think I am a nerd? Here is my teacher! It's his fault that my room is filled with poster and action figures!_

"I guess the eternal duo San Francisco is going to be disbanded" I say with a huge grin on my face.

"Nah. We're always going to be the one and only team San Francisco of the Lopez family!" he shouts with a punch in the air, making me laugh.

As I'm laughing, I look at my brother. _The dance lessons at Julliard are tougher than I thought. His body is hot. If he wasn't my brother he'd be totally fuckable. And his hair are a little bit longer than before. _

"I like the new hairstyle. It suits you"

"Thanks. It was Rachie idea. She said that like this my persona is more defined, or something like that" he mutters shyly.

_Here is my brother. Shy and... Wait. Rachie? Why it reminds me of someone? And that persona thing? No... It can't be. My brother has higher standards. I'm sure as hell of it!_

"Francisco! Santana! Come here! Let's have some cake!" calls mom from the kitchen.

As I walk into the kitchen the only thing I can do is shout a big 'What the Fuck' before my mind is clouded by anger.

AN: Cliff Hanger! :D

What do you think? Should I continue with this story? I've got the majority of the plot written down, but I can always change something if the reviewers ask for something different. And I'll try with a longer chapter, but I usually write this much. As for the update, I think that it'll be once a week, but not on a specific day. It depends on the bitch called school. See ya next chapter, folks!

ps. you can use google translate for the spanish part.

-LazyItalianGirl


	2. Chapter 2: Rabiosa

AN: Sorry about the **BIG **delay. School was a total bitch! But it's summer now... More time for writing! And for tv, but that's another story. (The Glee Project, YAY! Go Cameron!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or else, Cameron would already be on the show with Samuel and Damian!

Chapter 2: Rabiosa

"¡_Hija_! Do not use this kind of words in this house!" yells my mother, Roberta.

I don't listen a single word she is saying. I'm too focused on the scene that is playing in front of my eyes. _Fuck to the fucking NO!_

"The hell are you doing here?" I sneer.

"San, do you know her?" asks my brother with a look that screams 'Please, don't hurt me!'.

"Duh! It's not funny! Don't tell me that _thing_ is your girlfriend!"

"Hey! Don't talk like that! Rachie is a good girl!"

_Oh God! Now he is defending IT! What the fuck happened to Paco?_

"Yeah! She's Miss Rachel Barbra Berry, Broadway wannabe and big, annoying and self centered pain in the ass!"

"Shut-" Francisco started to argue back, but was interrupted.

"If I may, I'd like to have a few words in private with Santana" said the argyle clad little monster.

"Yeah, sure. And shout if there are problems, ok? Don't want to see _mi sol_ hurt" he said leaving the room with mom and dad; you don't have to forget the kiss they shared.

_NO NO NO NO! I didn't see! It didn't happened! My brother is not the new plaything of the gnome! Please, let this all be just a really fucked up and really freaky nightmare!_

"San, there is-"

"Santana for you, Treasure Trail. And what the fuck? Why are you here, kissing my brother in my kitchen?" I whisper with so much hatred and venom that even the super cute Honey-sempai could turn in a sadistic monster, just like Haruhi.

"Just so you know, I'm Francisco's girlfriend. And we've been together since our little visit to New York. Me and Kurt went to Broadway to sing on a real stage and I found your brother when we were leaving. He's working on a new show and he is one of the main actors. He asked me and Kurt to listen to his solo, which I assure you was sublime, and go grab a coffee afterward. Kurt had to go back because of a 'shopping date' with Mercedes, so I was alone with Francisco. We have so much in common and he is so handsome, funny, talented and is a student at Julliard!"

_Wait... Is she still talking? What the hell? Doesn't she stop to breath some times? _

"Yeah, yeah. You found the perfect male lead but, can you please leave me and my family the fuck alone? Bloody hell! I can't be around you in school, do you think that I won't kill you if you stay here? Well, I will." I bark at her.

Why must things be so damn crazy? Couldn't Francisco stay the same old guy, afraid of the 'girl-virus'? He was so nerdy during high school, always at home, watching tv and anime, never going out, unless it was for dance lessons and the occasional karaoke session with his dorky friends from Glee or the Anime Club...

_Yes. My brother was in Glee. That is one of the reasons that I stayed in that club of losers... The other reason is because I really like the club, but no one is going to hear me saying that, unless I'm dead!_

"Rachie! Everything's ok?" shouted Francisco from the other room.

"Claro que si, Paco. No hay problemas, ¿ justo _Rachie_?" I say to my brother with a fake sugary voice, staring at Berry with a really cold glare.

"Yeah, do not worry, Fran, everything is alright. We'll be there in a minute, ok?" says Rach-no, Man Hands. "Please, just... Don't be so horrible with me when you're brother is near, ok? I haven't said a word to him about our, let's say, relationship at school. Don't you think he'll be disappointed if his loved sister in reality is a big... Uhm... Villain?" she trails off, looking a bit shy

_Seriously? She can't even say that I'm a big bitch! Hell, it's true! But she is right. I can't be a total bitch in front of Paco, mom and dad. I'm stuck with this thing for the whole day..._

"Fucking A, Yentle. I'll be all rainbows and puppies around you, just because I do care for my brother. But once we're back at school, I'll make you regret ever meeting Francisco, ¿_entiendes_?" I say to her before moving to the other room where my family is talking.

"Hay, you're ok?" asks Paco with concern, seeing that Berry is a little pale. _Awesome!_

"Yeah, it' ok"

"Ok, now that everything is ok, what about a song? San Francisco is back in town and we can't wait to hear you again!" says happily my father, Rodrigo.

"Yeah! Me wants some Spanish song! What about you, San?"

_Stupid puppy eyes! I hate the fact that is impossible for me to play tough with my brother. _

"Alright, but I choose the song! 'Rabiosa'! I kick ass with on Shakira song, bitches!"

"Language!" exclaim my mom and Berry together.

_What the fuck? Now I have two mothers... Just great._

"Ok. Rachie, sit down and prepare yourself to the most fabulous duo ever!" he whisper softly to her, making giggle.

I walk to the IHome and within half a minute the room is filled with music.

(**Bold: Santana**; Underlined: Francisco)

**Rabiosa  
Yo tengo pila y loco haciendo cola  
Tengo a palomo metío en lío  
Y yo te quiero atracao ahí, Ratata**

**Que yo te quiero a quinientos y perdío**  
**Mentiras son dividí contigo**  
**Porque esa vuelta no es pa mí**  
**Que yo te quiero amarrao aquí**

_Yeah, Berry. Watch and learn! This is how we Latinos do it! Tsk. I'd like to see her reaction if I do something like this..._

I walk to Berry, that is on the couch, and sit to her left while Francisco starts singing.

Oye mami, vuélvete loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca**  
Oye papi, vuélveme loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca  
**

I lean closer to her face and sing directly in her ear, in the sexiest way possible.

**Rabiosa, rabiosa  
Rabiosa, rabiosa  
Yo soy rabiosa  
Rabiosa, rabiosa  
**

I stand up and see that she is relaxing, only to see her anxious the other minute.

_I know... I'm fucking sitting ON Rachel Barbra Berry, but man! Have you seen her face? Priceless! I'll stay here for a little while, just because I like pissing her! When it'll be my turn to sing, I'll stand again. Remember Santana, your parents and brother are watching! They don't know that you play for the other team. And they won't find out today, ok?_

Rabiosa  
Tu tienes pila y loco haciendo cola  
Mira palomo metío en léo  
Y tu me quieres atracao aquí Ratata

Francisco is singing while looking kind of confused to me and Berry. He can't be blamed, so I smile at him, trying to say with my eyes that everything is fine and I'm only joking a little with Berry. Reassured, he goes on singing with a goofy smile on his face.

Que tú me tienes a quinientos y perdío  
Mentiras son dividí contigo  
Pero esa vuelta no es pa mí  
Que tu me quieres amarrao aquí

Oye mami, vuélvete loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca

I jump off of Berry and walk to the side of Francisco for my part with a devilish grin on my face.

_Berry is all red! I bet that she never experienced nothing like that, even with my brother! NO! Don't go there! You're so not going to imagine Man Hands with Paco doing things! EW! Just... Ew!_

**Oye papi, vuélveme loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca**

Oye mami, vuélvete loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca**  
Oye papi, vuélveme loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca**

Rabiosa, rabiosa  
Rabiosa  
Tu eres rabiosa

**Rabiosa, rabiosa**  
**Rabiosa**  
**Yo soy rabiosa**

Oye mami, vuélvete loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca**  
Oye papi, vuélveme loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca**

Oye mami, vuélvete loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca**  
Oye papi, vuélveme loca  
Aruñame la espalda y muérdeme la boca **

As the song finish, we take a big bow and the audience cheer for us. _We're so bad ass!_

"I think we were good, don't ya think?" I ask Francisco.

"Good? We were fucking awesome! We kicked some non Latinos asses! Take that, Pitbull!" yells Paco.

"Language!" shout mom and Berry at the same time again.

This time, I can do nothing but laugh with my brother and dad at the funny situation.

AN2: thanks for reading, guys! It's been a lot since I last update. I'll see what I can do during the holiday. Hope this chapter is funny! See ya! And please, keep reviewing.

ps. I'm in need of a Beta; PM me if you want to beta this story, ok?

- LazyItalianGirl


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